Smile
by drinktea
Summary: [Double drabble] [Spotlight on Tifa] He whispered in Tifa's ear unexpectedly, Whadda you got planned?
1. Singing

  
  
_Disclaimer: This fic belongs to Sakura-Angel. FFVII belongs to Squenix, a group of people who are, in case you didn't notice, NOT Sakura-Angel._   
  
Sakura-Angel: Okay, so I guess this one manifested from a song I was listening to. After listening to it about five times in a row, I thought 'Hey Tifa!' and yeah, that's how this happened.   
  
**

Smile

**   
  
An easily recognizable brunette made her way through the streets of Midgar, her long hair flowing behind her as she walked the sidewalks littered with snowflakes that refused to melt.   
  
She was in Midgar because she needed some time away from him.   
  
Yes, _ him_.   
  
She remembered that night as if it had happened mere moments ago. They sat on the couch in her residence, sipping cocoa by the fireplace, one of those perfectly romantic moments to share with your lover.   
  
But they weren't lovers.   
  
She locked eyes with him, expecting that heady feeling she got whenever she saw that ethereal combination of oceans, skies and rain.   
  
It came. But she had learned to not let it show.   
  
She read his eyes so easily, she could see he wasn't in love with her, he wasn't in love with anyone. It seemed that maybe he wasn't at that point in his life. He wasn't falling over himself to see her, or the flowergirl's memorial, or anyone else.   
  
He read her eyes too. She was like that, open about everything. He could tell she was trying to hide that little swoon, but her eyes told him she felt something for him.   
  
But he didn't feel... ready. He didn't feel like getting into a relationship with someone so selfless and loving because he was afraid he wouldn't be enough for her, that maybe all the love being directed at him left her none for herself, and he'd be too weak or cowardly to give her some back.   
  
He told her with his sorrowful eyes and sagging of his body that he didn't love her, that he was too withdrawn to suddenly come out.   
  
So she left.   
  
She told him so, right to his sad, hollow eyes that she had to leave for awhile and that she'd come back, if he was ready.   
  
She walked the streets in her long coat and heeled boots, lights from shop displays temporarily highlighting her form again and again.   
  
She stopped by a familiar white door and pulled it open, to be greeted by warm mingling smells of coffee and chocolate, and the usual chorus of voices.   
  
"Tifa!"   
  
"Hey girl!"   
  
"Hey, it's Lockheart!"   
  
A young waitress walked up to her with the familiarity of a friend. "Hey Teef! I'm so glad you came - these guys have been driving me nuts!" She grinned amiably.   
  
Tifa laughed lightly and asked, "Lynn, what do you mean?"   
  
The redheaded waitress led Tifa over to her usual table and tossed a eyebrow raise her way. "What do you mean what do I mean? They've been asking 'Where's Tifa?' 'I wanna hear something decent for a change, get Tifa up there please?' all night."   
  
Tifa settled comfortably in her seat. "You're just making that up, aren't you?"   
  
"Why would I?"   
  
Tifa closed her eyes a little embarassedly and shrugged off her coat. "I'm not that good."   
  
Lynn scoffed and turned on her heel to get Tifa's usual, she knew Tifa always asked for her usual, and gave a cute little flip of her hair. "Only you think that, Tifa," she walked away, but her voice drifted back to Tifa's ears. "Now get up there before people start attacking me!"   
  
Tifa smiled at the waitress' comment and contemplated what song to sing.   
  
A member of the band that played the little café sauntered up and pulled out the other chair at Tifa's table. "So, you singing tonight?"   
  
"Yeah," she replied easily, a song in mind already.   
  
"Cool, go get up there, a few people asked for you," he pulled her up from her chair and pushed her in the direction of the area cleared for people brave enough to sing.   
  
"Hey, I'm going, I'm going!" She weaved through the chairs and tables with the musician, Kael was his name, she remembered now, at her back. Soon enough, she stood directly in front of the microphone.   
  
Kael leaned past Tifa and grabbed the microphone stand. "Hey everybody, the infamous Tifa Lockheart's here to sing something for you tonight!"   
  
Tifa blushed a little angrily at Kael as the people in the café clapped.   
  
The musician let go of the microphone and it tilted dangerously before Tifa halted it's descent to the floor with her quick reflexes.   
  
He whispered in Tifa's ear unexpectedly, "Whadda you got planned?"   
  
She flinched a little at his voice, but whispered back the name of a relatively easy song to play for.   
  
"Nah, you don't want that," Kael whispered back, his stubbornly cute attitude shining through, and he swung away from her and signalled something to the band.   
  
Tifa grew a little worried, but even more so when the opening chords of a recent hit played over the speakers. Not her song. _ 'Oh gods...' _ Kael was lucky that she knew this song, otherwise he'd endure some perfectly placed kicks to the shins. She let out a sigh and started tapping her foot to the rhythm.   
  
_Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be  
If he had loved me  
Truly loved me  
I learned awhile ago  
That kind of thing never happens for me   
  
And so I go around and just pretend  
Love is not for me  
I play the circus clown for all my friends  
Make 'em laugh and they won't see  
That you never let 'em see you sweat  
Don't want them to think the pain runs deep  
Lord knows it's killing me   
  
So I put on my makeup  
Put a smile on my face  
And if anyone asks me  
Everything is okay  
I'm laughing 'cause no one  
knows the joke is on me  
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride  
And a smile on my face_   
  
She segued into a bunch of melodical 'la-la's and continued.   
  
_Sometimes I sit at home by the phone  
Hoping he might call me  
But he don't call me  
But then I realize  
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me  
And so I go around with my head up  
Like it ain't no thing  
And when the boys are out with all my friends  
I'm into other things  
'Cause you never let 'em see you sweat  
Don't want them to think the pain runs deep  
Lord knows it's killing me   
  
And so I put on my makeup  
Put a smile on my face  
And if anyone asks me  
Everything is okay  
I'm laughing 'cause no one  
knows the joke is on me  
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride  
And a smile on my face   
  
It's not that easy  
Sometimes it's hard to face the truth  
It's not the life that I would choose  
But what else can I do?  
If he don't love me  
If he don't want me  
I'm not about to sit around and let myself  
Go...   
  
And so I put on my makeup  
Put a smile on my face  
And if anyone asks me  
Everything is okay  
I'm laughing 'cause no one  
knows the joke is on me  
'Cause I'm dying inside with my pride  
And a smile on my face   
  
I'll keep singing..._   
  
The music gave away to clapping.   
  
Tifa smiled modestly and opted for dipping her head over bowing. Her eyes were bright as she made her way back to her table.   
  
She stopped midstride when her table came into view. Someone all too familiar sat in spot across from hers.   
  
--------   
  
Sakura-Angel: Okay, so it's not my best work. And that's why I'm contemplating if I should continue or not and make this a double drabble. Hmm.   
  



	2. Smiling

  
  
_Disclaimer: This fic still belongs to Sakura-Angel. And FFVII still belongs to Squenix._   
  
Sakura-Angel: Umm... I sat on [who the mystery person was] for awhile and it was really kinda hard. I hope you'll be happy with who I decided. It's dreadfully short.   
  
**

Smile

**   
  
Tifa felt a lump rise in her throat at the sight of the recognizable hair and tried gulping the lump down, but she couldn't get rid of it. God, how was she going to get her coffee now? It sat on the tabletop across from him, happily steaming away.   
  
She couldn't go there, right in front of him after she sang that song. The song that, she cursed Kael's intuition, seemed to suit her relationship with the blonde perfectly.   
  
She felt like an idiot just standing in the middle of the café, so she resolved to walk over to the counter and talk to Lynn, say she was sorry about suddenly leaving, but she had an appointme-- Oh. No.   
  
He was looking at her. He saw her. Now she was obliged to go over and say hello. Either that or he'd come over.   
  
Well, at least she'd get to drink her coffee now. So she set her jaw firmly and walked over to her table, noticing his eyes trailing her. She slid into the chair opposite him with a false ease. "Hey."   
  
"Hey."   
  
Tifa kept her head down instinctively, as if a look into his eyes would make all her common sense dissolve. She sipped her coffee slowly, now finding some courage to look around. Her eyes darted about, focusing on one thing and suddenly flitting to another. Ruby orbs focused on everything but the blonde.   
  
_'Just say something! Anything!' _ She thought of all the stupid things she could end up saying. Hey, long time no see. Uh-huh. Fish, huh? Well, I'm still in love with you. _ 'God! So dumb!'_   
  
"Teef?" his shaky voice came to her ears.   
  
She looked at him now, a little surprised, and took his eyes in and felt that strange twinge. The feeling never left her, it seems. "Yes, Cloud?"   
  
"You remember the day... you left? You remember what you told me?"   
  
She nodded a little and set down her coffee.   
  
"I..." He gulped, hoping to send the lump in his own throat away.   
  
She noticed everything about him was hesitant - his shuddery breaths, his hands, reaching slowly across the table to her own, his eyes, silently asking permission to hold her hands.   
  
She shouldn't have been surprised when he took her hands in his own because she saw them coming, but she was. She was surprised at how hot they felt, how callous and shyly awkward his fingers felt around hers. But it felt right.   
  
He braced himself for the worst, and looked straight into her eyes, which, she'd never known, were as intoxicating to him and his own airy blue were to her. "I'm ready. For you."   
  
Her fingers contracted around his briefly and she tore her hands from his grasp, only to throw them around his neck seconds later.   
  
She was leaning across the table, face buried in his chest. Her lip was bleeding because she had bitten it too hard when he told her he wanted her back, but she didn't care.   
  
"Thank you," she murmured into his chest, warm from the delight of acceptance.   
  
He wondered why she was thanking him, shouldn't he be the one doing that? But later on, on a couch near a fireplace with warm cocoa in their hands, she'd tell him that she was thanking him for reviving the happiness behind her smile.   
  



End file.
